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"You know, I felt like just the whole Grammys, right when that happened, everybody was looking at me, and then people started screaming, 'Kanye! Kanye! Go do it!' Okay, that didn't really happen, these were voices in my head. So the voices in my head told me to go up, and then I just walked up, like, halfway up the stage. ... You know, what I really wanted to do is just joke around with what had happened before [with Taylor Swift] but I just really didn't want to take away from Beck's moment or the time he's having to talk, because, you know, the Grammys, they play music really quick no matter who you are and everything. So I didn't want anything to take away from his screen time. So I just walked back down because, you know, it was kind of a joke, like the Grammys themselves."

--Kanye West being an angry old grandma about his Grammys snafu, being all passive-aggressive saying that it was a "joke," just "like the Grammys themselves," and come on. Does boyfriend seriously think for a minute that we'd believe he was "joking"? Is that a "joking" face up there? Hell no. Was his post-Grammys rant a "joke"? Please. Don't be all saccharine to our faces -- or, in this case, Beck's face -- if you're going to stab us in the back with a smile.

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